It is common knowledge that some people change house girls like clothes. While you may argue that the boss’s attitude and behaviour largely determine how many house managers she will hire within a year, getting the right housegirl depends on your luck, your ancestors and if you like, the grace of God. Here are 10 types of house girls you are likely to encounter in every household.
She spent most of her life in Shamakholo, so she has little knowledge of city life. You will come from work and find her trying to empty the water in your WC toilet or throwing away a gas cylinder because it is empty. You will have to vigorously train her on how to use the cooker, electric kettle and microwave which are all alien concepts to her.
Her major focus is to win the heart of the man of the house. She will give him top-notch service while dressed in her Sunday best. She is the kind of house girl who puts on short dresses and hangs around the sitting room whenever hubby is home. Sooner than later, you will start hearing about her clandestine affair with your husband.
Whenever she finishes her job, the slayqueen will change into her best outfit and start taking selfies on the balcony. She even has an Instagram account to post snazzy pics while chilling on your leather couch. When you meet her on the streets on her off days, you will mistake her for a working class babe as she shows off your outfit which she stole from your closet.
This one wakes up at 8am when the kids have already gone to school. Instead of completing her work, she sits down to watch Naija movies. She will just do one or two chores and take a long break. The school bus driver has to call her to go pick the kids. The worst part is, you have to remind her to change clothes and take a shower.
Believe it or not, the DM in your house could be an agent sent out to investigate your illegal activities. Perhaps you could be a wash-wash schemer or petty rustler. Sooner than later, you realise your secrets have been revealed to security enforcers. She will not only reveal the secrets in your house to security enforcers but also to your neighbours.
She will set you up with robbers by informing them about costly items in your house and the best way they will access the home. Besides, she will not only give them a copy of the house key but also advise them on the time to break in when you are fast asleep. When you wake up, you find your house empty. She will be the first one to pretend how sad she is while in a real sense, she understands what is going on.
She knows many things and even the boss relies on her on where to get the best clothing or the way to Gikomba. If you want cheap unga, sugar, or veggies, she is the one to rely on. She also understands how things work including digital systems. The boss will be using her skills to apply for good conduct on e-citizen platforms. How she knew how to bake a birthday cake is a mystery.
She is prayerful and does her work diligently and with lots of humility. Every Sunday, she asks for permission to attend church. She does not hesitate to share bible verses with her employer’s kids and neighbours. You will often find her listening to a preacher on TV while holding a glass of water for ‘special blessings’.
She is a drama girl and if her salary is delayed for even two days, she will cause chaos all over the house. The only thing that is keeping her in the house is the fact that she has bonded well with the kids who also love her. Whenever the boss threatens to fire her, the children cry prompting her to call her back.
This one is known to entertain people in the neighbourhood. If it is not her boyfriend who steps in immediately after the boss dashes out, then it’s her bestie next door or her muchene partner from the neighbouring plot. She knows how to hack your Netflix password and has shared it with all and sundry.
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